My boyfriend calls me his little magpie because I have a HUGE love for beautiful and shiny things. I love buying new watercolour supplies and fountain pens. The former for their beauty, the latter for their, well, beauty and shininess. In a world where we have rollerball pens, ball point, gel pens etc, it's a little strange to be writing with a fountain pen. It is a writing instrument thought to belong in the past. Surely no one uses those now, right? I thought that way until I was introduced to it. First by my friends, who were really passionate about it years ago and were talking about it in the group chats. Back then, I listened, but didn't really think much about it. There was nothing to grip me. They just talked about it but didn't show pictures. And when they did, it was very ... cold. The design was pretty much what a male would prefer. Silver, black etc. None of those pretty and much colours or designs. Then, my best friend at uni used it and she enjoyed it. My interest was once again, slightly piqued but nothing came out of it. My love for fountain pens really came about when my BF gifted me a Mont Blanc Boheme Bleu for my graduation. I was a little terrified because holy, that's hundreds of dollars I'm holding in my hand ! It's so small, and barely fits in the palm of my hand. It is such a stunning beauty and I love it the moment I received it. Because it's SO expensive, I had the need to go and research about it, find out how to care for a fountain pen etc. I stumbled upon a community of fountain pen lovers and I guess... I never left. My collection grew rather rapidly. I find myself writing lots of letters, journalling more etc. I wanted to write, and write, and write. Pilot nibs always write like a dream and I love it so much ! With more pens, you always need more inks. It's almost like a vicious cycle. Probably doesn't help that my bf also indulges me in it ! He got me some inks and a TWSBI Eco in Pastel Pink ! Pink is usually not a colour I go for, but it sure does look much better than expected ! I loved writing with Kyo No Oto's Keshimurasaki which was 2018's Limited Edition Colour A lot of people first start out with the ever trusty Pilot Metropolitan or LAMY safari and then branch out into other brands like TWSBI where ECO is really their most sought after pen model. I then branched out into other chinese brands like PenBBS. I enjoyed their 471 and 322 models, except that their tines seems a little tight so can run a little dry. Besides quality pens, PenBBS also makes their own ink. It's a little difficult to get hold of it on the western market because they don't really ship it out of China. Out of these 5, I've tried the first 4 from the left. Rose Quartz is an interesting ink that starts out really brown but gradually lightens up into the most beautiful pink. I personally enjoy writing with the Mulberry in my Metropolitan the most. And because the pastel TWSBIs belong as a pair ... as well as the Kyo No Oto Urahairo which is the other 2018 limited edition colour. I had to get it. The pen is currently inked with 3 Oysters' Marine Green special edition and it is the most gorgeous teal ever. It became one of my favourites very quickly. And since I was in Netherlands for an interview, I couldn't not stop by Akkerman in Den Haag to get some of those beautiful inks. I bought Delft Blue and No.8 Diep-duinwaterbleuw as well as Diamine's 150th Anniversary ink Golden Honey. I thought Delft blue would be lighter as seen from the sample, but in my Lamy Safari Macaron Blue, it looked like a very box standard blue. I was a little disappointed but it's still a nice, albeit boring blue. The no.8 though, I love it. it's a beautiful dark blue and I think it is wasted in my F nib pens. Golden honey has got good readability despite being a yellow ink, which is great obviously ! When I got rejected from the positions, I got into the mood to buy a couple of pens. So these are from the German brand, ONLINE. I got 2 bottles of ink which are so cute and tiny, and the Slope in Light Grey and the Campus in Metallic Turquoise. I chose them mainly because of easy changeability of the nibs ! I ran into some issues with the standard converter that they sold on their website. It did not fit the Campus pen which came only with a cartridge and not the converter. Luckily because I have collected so many pens, I easily identified a matching one which I happened to have. So whoohoo. I have got it now ! both of them wrote beautifully, the Slope came with misaligned tines so I had to tune it myself. It writes a little less broad now, but still laying down good amount of ink. I have to say, the ONLINE pens all seem to write rather wetly, which is nice. I still haven't gotten them to do the elusive sheen on the copy paper I have. I am looking forward to going home to collect my new package of pens and inks. Now that I've gotten a good amount of modern pens, I am venturing into vintage pens. The vintage Japanese pens are so beautiful and I managed to win a couple on EBay and I'm really excited for them. Is it normal to be this in love with pens ?
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It is during this time that I start to really appreciate all the support I've got. Being unemployed has gotten me feeling like I'm sitting on needles. It's not a pleasant experience but one would have to go through at some point in time in their life.
I thought that I had done fairly decent in my studies, learnt a lot of techniques and am passionate about the work that I've done. Surely that would land me a job or a PhD position in a fairly competitive program fairly soon, wouldn't it ? The first few months went by without a sound, I was still feeling alright about it. Places take time to consider applications and review them. I was still enjoying the free time I have on hand. Taking the time to relax, meet up with friends that I've not had the chance to chat with for many years, learning a new skill, painting, reading etc. All these were luxuries I didn't have. Then a few months passed, I started to get very angsty. I was pondering if I haven't been good enough with my cover letters and CV. If I haven't really applied enough. I carried on applying, more and more, regardless if it was aimed at hiring Master degrees holder or not. Nothing for a while and then 2 requests for an interview at once. Both for PhD studies with 2 companies that I'm very fond of working with. 2 companies that I was very excited to be working with. It felt like the stars aligned. The interviews came and went, I absolutely enjoyed the energy of the people I was speaking with, I loved them and thought that if I joined them, life would be complete. Time went by and I got a 2nd interview with one of the companies, in person. I don't think I answered the interviews as well. But I gave it all that I could . A few weeks went by, and I have been rejected for both. Being rejected hurt, not because I have been passed over for a better candidate, but because I really wanted to go back into the lab and that these projects were projects that I absolutely wanted to work on. I could see so much potential and that it fits very neatly in my future career path. It fit so perfectly, it almost, almost felt like it was made for me. Which obviously, wasnt. I had a few days to mope and whine a little, then it was back to the application board. I sent out 3 applications within 2 days and then prepped myself for another 2. I was upset, and disappointed. But such is life. You can't have everything you want, so learn to deal with all the failures and disappointment. I spent alot of time thinking about what I have done right and wrong, and I've come up with so many other things I could/should do to make sure I'm successful next time. Not everyone is lucky enough to be accepted first try. And that is okay. I'm still a bit lost, if I have to be very honest. But it's okay, I can still ask for advice from my mentors and sort my life out. Currently in Germany and staying with The Boyfriend.
It's been nice and I've been really motivated to do things. Sending out applications after applications ! The freedom that I've been experiencing and having my own dedicated workspace really helps with productivity so I have been trying to get as much done before I go back home. We have been going out for walks and it's BRILLIANT. The weather in the day has been really sunny and warm, which really lifts my spirits. And we saw Herons ! Alongside the geese family and the duck family ! It's so adorable. I said I would go back to blogger, but I never actually did.
Time just slipped past me and I found myself getting busier and busier, with no time left for myself amidst other things. So I don't actually remember everything that happened from 2015 all the way up to now. Which is a little sad, because so much happened in the span of 4 years. I graduated from university, twice. Got a boyfriend whom I adore greatly and in the talks of maybe making this permanent. Trying to get a PhD position, while also making some sort of plans should I not achieve any success this year. Moved my stuff into the new apartment etc. Life goes on even when you don't notice. And man, I came a long way. I feel like I've outgrown my time on Weebly and I am considering going back to Blogger. I don't know if anyone feels the same way - the urge to go back to the same platform that you started on.
I think Blogspot/Blogger (whichever name you would prefer to use) was the first platform for many. I know that the blogging craze swept through everyone in our early childhood/teenage years. I know I had my first blog from Primary school, probably Primary 4 onwards. It's just that, whenever I look at my older posts, I would cringe at the way I talk/blog. But it was very fond memories. I had only 1 blog up to Secondary school where I slowly turned to other platforms and eventually stopped blogging. Especially when I feel like I don't really need to document everything. Thinking back, I wish I did. Wish I had included all sorts of mundane details so I could laugh at myself, so I could remember every single one of it. I eventually left blogger/blogspot for Weebly after my breakup with my ex. I don't know why I felt the need to do that. Like to slice off every single strand of connection that tied him to me - be it in the form of words, memories or physical objects. I deleted everything. But I know I kept the text messages between us and the emails he sent me while I was away in Australia. I just kept them safely tucked away somewhere. If anyone remember that my old email, you would have realised that I stopped using it as well. It was as if I unconsciously refused to remain in connection with him even though we broke off on amicable terms (But yes, I was still pining for him then because he was the one who needed and wanted the breakup). But yes. Weebly is a nice platform, but I never felt at home. But who knows. I might still decide to blog here instead. Afterall, it has been years since I left blogspot/blogger and who knows if it still feels like home to me. I initially thought that Christmas would be a lonely event, especially when I was alone in a foreign country that I have to call home for the next 3 years (I like it here though, don't get me wrong) with no friends or family near. I wasn't all that close with my flatmates yet (but yea, we were getting there).
But my Uncle's godsister, which makes her my godaunt, invited me over for Christmas and I have to admit that my first thought wasn't relief. It was bordering on dread, but I was thinking that it would be rather awkward. But hey, it would be nice to experience Christmas in a British home (though I had plans to look into host families to host me over Christmas anyway). So yes, I said yes to the invitation and watched all my flatmates leave the week the semester ended. I just looked through my pictures and realized that I have many things to blog about but didn't have the time/chance/motivation to. But I would try to clear the backlog of all those posts soon ! I would probably try to spread them out so my blog won't be a whole load of posts all on the same day !
Backlog: - My Christmas with my cousin and Godaunt's family - Valentine's day - My Intro to Health Behaviours practical - Things people tell me - Monopoly and film nights - Sco-op social Pancake Day is really a thing in the UK. It is also known as Shrove Tuesday, a day before Lent which is celebrated by many Christians. It was kind of interesting to see how pancakes started popping up everywhere. Dessert on Tuesday was pancake with various toppings. It was funny how my flatmate Caroline just took sugar and Max was like, you can't have pancakes with sugar without the lemon.
Apparently Lemon with sugar topping for pancakes are a must. Anyway, Nat was really nice to invite all of us to Stanford to have some delicious pancakes. I have to say that her pancakes taste like home and it was the first time I tried Golden syrup. It was just sweet. And sticky. And messy. I still like butter with my pancakes the best. The funny part was Nat eating her pancake with Ketchup and everyone was like, WTH, ARE YOU OKAY? WHY WOULD YOU EVEN DO THAT? It's just so funny to see everyone reacting to that like that. I have got to admit that the only thing I know about Pancake day other than Pancake race and that it is a day before Lent, is that you have got to eat pancakes on this day. And I only knew that it was a day before Lent because Sam was educating me on this lol. It was lots of fun though ! I hope next year would be good too. Hey everyone ! Happy Chinese New Year to everyone ! (I know it's already 初二 for a while now for those in GMT+8) Hope everyone had a good reunion dinner and a great first day of the new year ! This year, I am spending it away from home in the UK where I can assure you that if you are not in London or anywhere with a Chinatown (Nottingham doesn't really have a Chinatown), the 年味 is almost negligible.
But I am very lucky to have a group of Malaysian and Singaporean friends + Catherine who is from Hong Kong to spend my 除夕夜(Chinese New Year's eve) with ! It's very interesting when we were talking about traditions and customs to follow ! It's quite interesting how all of us have slightly different practices when it comes to Chinese New Year. Like for my family, on the first day of Chinese New Year, you cannot wash your hair and before 12pm, we cannot eat any meat. Some of them didn't know about this. Catherine knows about this but she doesn't know about 鱼生 or 守岁. Here's a post dedicated to both Mandy and Mag because they have been so immensely kind to post all my favourite snacks to me ! I cannot express just how thankful I am to have them in my life. When I receive the slip from the accommodation office to inform me that I have a parcel, I was really surprised and puzzled because I was very sure that I didn't buy anything online, so it couldn't be something I bought.
I couldn't think of anyone who would/could buy something for me and ship it to me. No one came into mind. When I saw the SingPost box on the desk, I thought it would be my family. And when I saw the sender, my jaw dropped. And when I thought my jaws wouldn't drop any further, I saw the shipping cost. I was dazed throughout the walk back to my room. The only thoughts I had was, Omg, followed by more Omg, and then what the hell, and then the shipping is more expensive than the things in there, followed by more omg. My thoughts were just in a mess. When I got back into my room, I just sat on the floor with the box infront of me with a dazed and surprised look on my face. Caroline asked if I was going to open the box and my reply was, "I am going to take more photos first" LOL. And when I saw what was inside, I was just pleasantly surprised and just started hugging everything. Caroline commented that I looked like I was about to burst into tears. But when I saw my favourite Tapioca chips ... I CRIED. I cradled the bottle and cried. THEN I SAW MY FAVOURITE PLUM CANDY. I cried even harder. I was just crying into my sleeves by then. I cannot believe it. I have such good friends who remember everything that I love. When I thanked them, Mag was so cute. She suggested to send me my favourite tapioca chips because she remembered how I just munch on them nonstop. They were initially worried that it wouldn't reach me in time for Chinese New Year but it did ! On the eve somemore ! HAHAHA. Oh God. I love them so so so so so so much. ... Whatever did I do in my past life to deserve them !? |
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